Are we related?

Family reunions are a spectacle for those not faint of heart (it's a bit ironic that senior citizens are the most frequent attendees). Aside from the elderly asking you to repeat your lineage from Eve you also have the poking and prodding, the hugging, and the touching from near complete strangers. There is also that matter of personal space at family reunions. As long as you have a ‘hello my name is’ sticker, people don’t mind getting up close and personal with you. They don’t mind the exchanging of airborne bacteria or the idea of kissing you square on the lips because somewhere along the way, you shared a chromosome or two. So start packing, and no I’m not talking about weaponry or pepper spray... come prepared with pockets full of breath mints and chewing gum, because you are about to get more action than a cheerleader at the senior prom. 

You also just can’t escape genetics at family reunions. You couldn’t be ‘twice removed’ enough to the few who seem a little off-kilter, and you are too closely related to those you may find attractive. Yes, we’ve all experienced it: Spotted that distant relative that in any other circumstance, you may consider approaching and maybe even dating. After that information is processed, you commence hiding in the broom closet reciting ‘there’s no place like home’ and clicking your orthopedic shoes together with gusto.

Don’t get me wrong, family is great. I am a huge supporter of family. I have an insane bundle of love for mine. Not only aunts and uncles and grandparents, but my great aunts and great cousins too. I don’t always know how I’m related to who, but in the grand scheme of things, who cares... right? I mean, after your immediate family, everything gets convoluted anyway. You have your cousins, and then your first cousins, and then your second cousins... that's not right, is it? 

So, I endure to the end. The enthusiastic waving of arm dangle, the breath smelling of fixodent, and memorizing seven generations so that you can recite it on demand. In hind sight, this might actually prevent accidental incest. Who knows...

Don't I know you from somewhere, 

Jessica